wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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