I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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