Texts From Last Night

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  (315): View more from New York

  she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.

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  (315): she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game. http://tfl.nu/gk92
  Replies (28) Good night (3751) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend

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  (309): So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend http://tfl.nu/9ksw
  Replies (34) Good night (3719) Bad night (512) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.

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  (706): I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor. http://tfl.nu/s5q7
  Replies (21) Good night (1995) Bad night (4326) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I think I can smell my own vagina right now

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  (720): I think I can smell my own vagina right now http://tfl.nu/1nsr
  Replies (126) Good night (1145) Bad night (22435) Order T-Shirt
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job

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  (862): My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job http://tfl.nu/i0ci
  Replies (56) Good night (4781) Bad night (1328) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.

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  (678): I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head. http://tfl.nu/4u7e
  Replies (44) Good night (7114) Bad night (1602) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.

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  (701): Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy. http://tfl.nu/k5h7
  Replies (6) Good night (1143) Bad night (741) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.

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  (207): Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer. http://tfl.nu/w95z
  Replies (3) Good night (2661) Bad night (1170)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  I think we should measure in "bathtubs"

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  (248): I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery. (1-248): I think we should measure in "bathtubs" http://tfl.nu/kzc7
  Replies (3) Good night (1285) Bad night (341) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila

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  (607): I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila http://tfl.nu/x7nj
  Replies (5) Good night (484) Bad night (1374) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit

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  (501): somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit http://tfl.nu/n1zz
  Replies (3) Good night (1171) Bad night (309) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.

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  (540): Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes. http://tfl.nu/qx0i
  Replies (11) Good night (1272) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.

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  (608): He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples. http://tfl.nu/0xb3
  Replies (2) Good night (1328) Bad night (233) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.

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  (870): I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me. http://tfl.nu/h17o
  Replies (12) Good night (1103) Bad night (319)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.

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  (978): You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut. http://tfl.nu/pq6k
  Replies (3) Good night (470) Bad night (226) Order T-Shirt

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