I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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