I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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