Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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