She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Sacagawea was the original milf.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
