Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
