I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
