How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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