You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
