I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
