so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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