All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
