Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
