I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
