Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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