matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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