my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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