Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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