you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
