he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
