his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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