i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize