so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
