How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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