I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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