Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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