don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
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