We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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