You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
