Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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