yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
