Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
