question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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