Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
