There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
