I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize