She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
