I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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