OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
