haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
do herpes really smell.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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