We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I intend to get homeless drunk
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
