We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We are two peas in an std pod
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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