I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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