If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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