Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
