OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
this just has baby written all over it
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
