forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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