We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
