I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize