was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
that may or may not have been my penis.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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