covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
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