I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm drive I can fine osifer
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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