He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
