It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
