i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
