I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
