Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
