He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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