I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Randomize
